Check out the previous post here
#8. Concentrate on the present to ensure your future:
Interestingly, the ability of your relationship to
weather tough times has a lot to do with your
mutual availability in the here and now.
Unfortunately, over time, for a variety of reasons,
many couples move further apart from each
other, meaning that when a rough patch hits,
their relationship doesn’t survive. To build a
rock-solid relationship, start by acknowledging
rather than ignoring the ordinary moments in
your relationship. If your partner wants to share
something she’s reading on the net, for example,
take a minute to listen, even if you simply grunt
in response. It may sound strange, but if you
accumulate enough of the little things, when you
really need your partner, you’ll find she’s there
for you.
#7. Don't distort:
Researchers have known for a long time that
unhappy couples focus on the negatives in their
relationships. An early study by Robinson and
Price (1980) found that unhappy couples
underestimated the occurrence of pleasurable
events in their relationships by 50%. Also,
Fincham, Beach and Baucom (1987) found that
individuals in distressed relationships were prone
to attributing negative intentions to their
partner’s behavior.
If you find yourself stuck in this rut of distorted
thinking, the next time you have a negative
thought about something your partner has done
try to come up with a more neutral explanation
for her actions. Another strategy is to consider
whether you would judge yourself so harshly if
the situation were reversed. Finally, remind
yourself often of the good times you’ve spent
together recently.
No comments:
Post a Comment