Painful realities of being the other woman.

No matter how we see it or even what the society calls it, being the other woman is something quite a number of women feel good doing and the fact that she is the other woman does not make her a whore, also it does not mean she has no feelings.


Being the other woman actually hurts.
Everyone has a way of stigmatizing the other woman and they have a right to but lets take a moment to walk in their shoes and see what they pass through.

6 truths about the other woman. 

• Most of them go into the relationship with the knowledge of who they are in the relationship.
• Feelings are invested in the relationship.
• They have their reasons for being in the relationship because it is believed what you know cannot hurt you and it actually pays them off because they are not scared of being cheated on.
• They get jealous too.
• They feel lonely and want more than they have.
• They don't want to be in the shoes of the main woman and they are scared of karma's law.

PAINFUL REALITIES OF BEING THE OTHER WOMAN

1. You can never be proud of your relationship with your man: Everything about the relationship has to be kept secret because you knew you are the second woman and consented to it. You have to play by the rules and have to keep your emotions in check whenever you are in public.This means no going out on dates in public, unless you want to be fuel for gossip. As the one being cheated with, your fellow thief will make sure that you will be far from prying eyes. You will treat each other as strangers when you are in public, but within closed doors, you own each other. In the long run, something like this would take its toll on anyone.
2. You will be stigmatized:  You are still safe to some extent as long as the relationship is kept secret but when people get to know you become stigmatized and you will be seen as a whore and home breaker.
3. You live in denial:  You have to deny that you are dating the man if there is a case of an allegation and this makes you feel guilty for denying the one you love.
4. You see the person you love at his convenience and this created for you boredom and loneliness: When you desire to be with this person you love, you may not be able to because he has to spend time with his family and unless you have other relationships you become lonely and bored. 
5. You have to work and walk by his timing: This means you have to wait for your lover’s go signal to do anything, such as the next time the two of you will get to see each other. The waiting game is such a difficult and, oftentimes, frustrating game to play because you are starved for whatever crumbs of affection your lover has to throw at you.
   Once your tryst is over, you’re left pining and waiting for the next call, which can take days or even weeks to arrive.
6. You have to deal with the fact that you have no life together: The only enjoyable moments you have together is what you lean on, you can not plan your life together because what you share is something that would go sooner or later.
7. You live in fear of being rejected: You will always have the fear that one day all you both shared would be gone as he'll have gone back fully to his main woman and any time he behaves strangely you think of yourself as the loser.
8. You are guilt-ridden. Many women who have entered these kinds of relationships have often complained of sleepless nights. They find themselves wracked with guilt, especially in those moments when they find themselves to be alone without their lover to comfort them. They are guilty on being the object of sin against another woman. Oftentimes, these women feel that this guilt is a one-way street.
9. You will always come after the main woman:  You are not the first so you are the option, he gives you the left over of what his wife won't have. The first few weeks of the relationship may be filled with love and happiness but as time goes on, it gets dawn on you that you don't belong there and you never will. You will see how the entire situation is affecting you as a person. You will know that he will not be there to comfort you during the days when you are feeling down. You cannot spend the holidays with him, and you cannot help but feel saddened by the fact that he is spending the holidays with his legitimate loved one. You cannot hold his hand when you feel like you need it the most, or put your arms around him whenever you feel lonely. 
10. You will freak out with jealousy: The problem with this part is that you may not be able to discuss or make him know how jealous you feel because you knew about her before you started out with him. Also you don't want him to feel insecure with you.
11. The relationship will end: This is the part the other woman never wants to think of but its inevitable and if it doesn't end well, you and your cheating partner may become enemies. You were secret lovers to begin with, and now you must part as strangers. While men have claimed that they are capable of loving more than one woman at the same time, he could only keep his affairs with his mistresses for a certain amount of time. Something such as this cannot last forever. Whether you will be the one who will want to call it quits, or your partner will be the one to initiate it, remember that there is nothing secret that can be hidden forever.

Many women who have found themselves in these precarious situations tend to seek therapy afterwards. There are those who have attested to the fact that being the other woman in the relationship is like committing social suicide. You tend to abandon whatever ideals you have set for yourself in exchange for a few moments of bliss.