Insecurities and the way out.

Most times we get quite insecure and this is as a result of low self esteem that we experience and that was further induced by other factors. 

A cruel childhood, verbal abuse and assault by parent or elders. Imagine a Nigerian parent calling his or her child 'oloriburuku', 'head that brings bad luck''konidaafunee' 'it wil not be well with you' and they expect this child to grow up and make them proud. 

The child having heard this words spoken to him/her overtime begins to conform to the word subconscious, this can in turn affect the esteem of the child.

Also the society we live in most times makes people not be able to measure up to the societal expectations and this makes the people feel they are not good enough. 

Most of us at certain points or the other have been victims of love self esteem, feelings of not been good enough, the need for acceptance and several other. 

A few tips to boost your self esteem are; 

Tell yourself the truth about you. This is important because words are life and the words you speak to yourself comes back to affect you. 

Treat yourself out on a special date. Basically, you need to spoil yourself and take yourself out. Especially for the ladies, most ladies feel they need a man to take them out, they can't even spend their own #500 on themselves. If you don't think you are worth that much then how can someone else make you feel so. Even if a man tells you that you are beautiful, you would think it's just because he wants to sleep with you. C'mon, you are worth it. There is no one in the world like you remember that song. 

Avoid toxic people who bring you down with their words. 

This is also very important because the words we listen to shapes us. If you are surrounded by people who only bring you down with their words then by all means please avoid them. If no one would say nice truths to you about you then stick with yourself.

You are beautiful the way you are, you can be everything you want to be. So, keep your head high, chin up and face life squarely....

Ruth loves yo

Bringing the past into the present.

Relationships most times have endings we bearly imagine or expect.

How do you go about telling the present man or woman in your life about a past incident or something you did in the past that you are not proud of.

The reality is, if they eventually find out, they might get really hurt and it may even cost us the relationship after all.

Have you ever been in such a situation?  Or are you of the opinion that the past is the past so everyone should move on and put the past behind them.

I would make a post much later about that but please reply and let me know what you think.

Man murdered to death by Fulani herdsmen in Ondo State

A commercial driver has been reportedly stabbed to death by an unknown Fulani herdsman.

A commercial driver, Victor Ajisafe was reportedly stabbed to death by a suspected Fulani herdsman in Akure, Ondo State over a minor disagreement. This then degenerated into the victim being chased by the Herdsman and being stabbed severally by the Fulani man. He was rushed to the hospital but died eventually. 

He was member of the National Union of Road Transport Workers. 

His wife Mrs Ajisafe said: “It was my husband’s brother who informed me that one Fulani man stabbed my husband in the neck and was rushed to the hospital. When I got there, my in-laws and friends did not allow me to see him despite all my efforts. “They later took me back home in their car under the guise that we should get money to take proper care of him. It was then they took me to my mother’s shop at Road Block that they broke the news that he was dead.”

Vulnerable?? Here's what to do

”V” Card.

I bet when you saw “V” card you thought I was talking about virginity. But I must correct that notion,by ‘v’ card I mean Vulnerability card.

So many times, we start out being careful, but carefully, we become careless. What I’ll term “careful-carelessness”.
Vulnerability creates a feeling of emotional imbalance.

Everything goes, things said that should be forgotten stays, everything gets to you. You try to please everybody because you believe you’re not perfect and you’re made to satisfy everyone without pleasing yourself. You beat yourself hard when things fall apart, even when you’re not wrong. You love and trust easily and you get hurt in the blink of an eye, you don’t want to get too attached because jealousy sets in[possessive], you grow on the nearest person close( the person you live with or live close to). when you see people whisper, you’re of the notion that they’re talking about you. Am I right? Well maybe.

Vulnerability makes you conscious of your fears, and instead of fighting and overcoming your fears, You’re afraid of your fears and you walk side by side with your fears.

I’m not opposed to love but love makes people vulnerable. Some people might say that love heals and makes people stronger, maybe while in love that happens but after heart break, you become weak and open to anything, thus, vulnerability stalks in. Even in love you start thinking of the opinion of the other person, Love is a risk that make you vulnerable. Love opens you to expectations and if these are not met, you could become vulnerable.

What makes people Vulnerable
Family background
Self esteem
Lack of knowledge of self worth
Insults
Passion
Bullying
Mood swings etc…..

To loose your “V” card

Know your ability/strength (i.e what you can do and cannot do)
Know who you are
Pay conscious effort to not allow things to get to you(guide your heart carefully)
Pass your limit (i.e what you can do, surpass it)
Try and always speak in gatherings
Meet new people
Live your life
Don’t live according to the dictates of others
Always try to please yourself (remember you’re the most important)
Love yourself.

   Being vulnerable is not a curse, it means you’re human. Some people do not even know that they’re vulnerable. But when too vulnerable is when there’s a challenge because you’re giving people the opportunity to have the upper hand in your life. Then your life really becomes a shit hole. 

P:S: Whatever you’re afraid of might be your weakness and watch out!!! you just might be vulnerable to that.

Abidoye victoria oreoluwa
Ig @toree_blaq
Whatsapp @08081096951
Email address@Victoriaharbeedoye@gmail.com

The Politics of fuel subsidy.

Fuel subsidy payment incurred by the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, NNPC, rose by N9.94 billion to N16.785 billion in less than one month.

This was allegedly to ensure that the price of Premium Motor Spirit, also known as petrol, did not rise above the official rate of N145 per litre.

It was obtained from the NNPC Monthly Financial and Operations Report for November 2017, showing that the subsidy payment for November represented an increase of 145.08 per cent from N6.849 billion paid in October 2017.

The amount expended by the NNPC on subsidy was the second highest amount since subsidy on fuel returned in 2017, after the N36.27 billion paid by the NNPC in January 2017. To this end, the report stated that the NNPC has spent a total of N128.855 billion on fuel subsidy payments between January and November 2017.

Sebi, Uncle Buhari said he doesn't know about any subsidy and that fuel subsidy would not even be an issue when he comes into Government. Every new Government comes in and immediately increase the pms rate.

I wrote in my undergraduate project how that fuel subsidy is political and is being distributed amongst the cabals within the oil sector.

Fuel scarcity is still a present day reality and many traders still sell at ridiculously high rates.

Winning the office politics game. 2

As disheartening and disturbing as office politics is, it's still a game and you can will and even avoid being the victim of office politics.

Positive Politics

In office politics, as in most things, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Once a coworker or boss is out to get you, it's hard to avoid being stabbed in the back. Play positive politics, though, and your coworkers and bosses will probably turn any stabbing instincts elsewhere. Here are a few of my favorite positive politics strategies:

Ask Respected Higher-Ups for Counsel Periodically: You have to relate well with higher ups,  especially the ones that do not go about bossing around or showing that they are the boss. Encourage them to think of you as a protege, and they're more likely to defend you when you need it.

Perform Deliberate Acts of Kindness: Stay late one night to help a coworker on a deadline. Send a handwritten thank-you note to the person who gave you that Word tip.

Do Visible, Important Tasks: If such tasks aren't in your job description, ask if you can take one on. Be sure everyone knows you did the work. For example, you might email key employees a draft of your project's final report, "for feedback," ensuring your boss or rival doesn't try to steal the credit.

Appeal to people's feelings and emotions: Show that you are also human by appealing to people's feelings. You can show false emotions and lead them. When issues happen appeal logically to their feelings and make them understand that you have the Company's interest at heart and it's important to you.

Remember, you are not fighting, you are avoiding the battle but winning. The following tips may also help. 

Respond with strength: If your saboteur tries to put you down especially in front of your boss or higher ups, don't wimp or attack verbally, respond intelligibly and that's why, you must have at least a first hand knowledge of the weakness of your saboteur. Your intellect response should not directly saboteur the colleague but be a warning that tells him he is about to get into trouble with what he is doing. Don't sway off the top of discourse too.

Inoculate: Tell others what you noticed so they can be abreast and maybe defend you when the need arise.  Point to specific evidence or unfairness 

Winning the office Politics game. 1

For most of us that work in the corporate world, we would agree that office politics is a phenomenon that has come to stay. 

Ranging from backstabbing bosses to co-workers who try to sabotage your work, relationships and power are tightly knit in the workplace.

Many of us have been affected by office politics at some point in time and some of us are/will be victims of Office politics hence this timely post. Many workers panic at the thought of going into work because of their colleagues, while at least three in four employees find their boss the most stressful part of their job.

Now, office politics is but not limited to the strategies that people play to gain advantage, favor or for a cause they support.

How to deal with office politics and still be at the top of your game.

Be friendly with everyone.

Being friendly is not the same as being friends, getting involved and reaching out is a way to avoid being the victim of office politics. Toxic people have a way of being isolated or negative so you can spot them from a distance but for your own sanity and for your working health. 

You definitely cannot please everyone but you can buy the loyalty of a few people, relate with everyone at their level. If one person at work is the main source of conflict, the best way to deal with them is to unite with other co-workers, says psychologist Dr Mary Lamia. “Grouping against a bully will provide victims with support for their feelings, since victims of bullies are at risk of becoming isolated. Through joining together and discussing the bully’s behaviour, co-workers can contain the bully, who, with their behaviour exposed, loses the power to terrorise – and faces the threat of isolation.”

Know your limit.

Being friends with everyone doesn't mean you shouldn't know your limit. Also, don't tell everyone about your private affairs, the guy you shagged last night or the hangover. Please that's your business. Remember in politics there is no permanent friend and permanent enemy. The reason why you are being friendly with everyone is so you know the grapevines and whoever is planning evil against you and you can immediately plan your attack.

Hold your head up.

The best way to render your enemies harmless is when your guards are up and your chin is held up, even when you are dealing with a heart break or any issue. Carry yourself in such a way that people cannot deduce what's wrong with you. Once you are invincible, you would also be impenetrable.

P. S: In the office, everyone is there for their own gain so don't think someone would have your back even if he/she is your friend. If their own lives is at stake they will sly you with immediate effect so you have to deal wisely with everyone you work with. Maintaining the appropriate work ethics is the best way to avoid being victim of office politics.